Evan as OAN, Newsmax and Fox continue to promote sky down theory

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Photo by Rodion Kutsaev on Unsplash

On QAnon messageboards today, on Inauguration Day, as Donald Trump, the world’s biggest sore loser ever, slinked off to Florida in absolute disgrace, devastated QAnon members feel played.

“How can the sky be up?” questioned one poster, Imbecelia78, “They’ve been telling us for months that sky is down!”

Another user, Daftasshit45, had this to say: “Next thing you know they’ll be trying to make us believe the earth is round!”

QAnon members also have a lot of trouble accepting water is wet. On they day after Joe Biden was declared a winner, a lot of them stood in the rain and got soaking wet, demanding recounts in Arizona, and insisting that the votes stop being counted in Michigan, while not recognizing the very soggy logic of their behavior. …


Manny the Mansplainer

That’s right, smokers like me are entitled to a jab before teachers

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Unpslash

Dear Manny,

I heard on the news that smokers get the vaccination before almost anybody else, including essential workers and teachers. How can this be right!

Outraged Little Lady in Iowa

Dear Outraged,

Little lady, you need to calm down. Last I heard it was still legal to smoke cigarettes in this great nation. You libtards and your nanny state haven’t gotten my cigs yet, nor my guns. And you never will. You will have to pry that Marlboro Red cigarette out of my cold dead fingers! That’s the only way you will get it.

But as for the vaccine, I need it because I am an essential worker. These blogs I write are absolutely essential to counteract lamestream media and all its lame ideas. I cannot afford to take two weeks off of blogging to recover from the China flu. …


New social networks sprouting like weeds to replace Twitter and Facebook

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Photo by NordWood Themes on Unsplash

After last week’s riots, Trump fans were kicked off Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and other mainstream platforms, which they used to plan their various attacks on democracy and common sense. But not to worry — a plethora of new vendors have popped up to promote their debased discourse.

The web site SoreLosers.com has seen a huge spike in membership since the riot. “Our members are losers and they are not happy about it,” said SoreLosers.com founder, Zane Zitterburg. “We provide a place where these poor losers can go and whine and cry and nobody will laugh at them. …


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Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

The riot at the Capitol last week took a lot of investors by surprise, but not this one. Donald Trump of the Lunatic Right Corporation (LRC) predicted way back in December that there would be something quite disturbing happening on January 6. “Be there, will be wild,” he said, encouraging his clients to go all in, travel to Washington and participate in the mayhem and fun.

How did other investors miss this?

“We will have a smooth transition of power,” advised Mitch Mcconnell, of the Party of No, Incorporated (PONI), back in December,

Smooth?

The Capitol riot may have been a lot of things but it sure wasn’t smooth. …


And liberals are decidedly illiberal.

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Photo by Maria Oswalt on Unsplash

Politics are a massive self-delusion!

Politicians that call themselves conservative sanctioned the uprising last week, and the potential kidnapping and murder of politicians they disagreed with.

That’s hardly conservative. What that is, clearly, is fascist. That’s what far right wing governments and military juntas do. They are not conservative. They are extremists and radicals. Their only ideology is this: might is right!

“You have to be strong!” instructed Trump in his speech just before the storming of the Capitol.

What happened revealed a truth that many have suspected for a long time, since Trump joined the scene. In fact, they have suspected it since the mid 90s when Newt Gingrich created modern “conservatism”, which is a faux conservatism whose true character is extreme power mongering. …


How could you kill Australia’s biggest fan?

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Adobe images

So, my name is Joe. At least that’s what the Aussie named Kevin who found me in his backyard named me — after the incoming American president.

It was a real heartwarming story, lemme tellya. After the incredibly exhausting 8,000 mile journey across the Pacific, I was really feeling ill and weak. But Kevin nursed me back to health and I’m so grateful to him.

Then came the Australian authorities.

Apparently, I am “not permitted to remain in Australia” because I “could compromise Australia’s food security and our wild bird populations.” …


I’m sick of both sides, frankly

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Photo by Chris Chow on Unsplash

If you look at the articles on Huffpo — or indeed on Medium — you will find that most of them are a paraphrase of “Poor Me.”

Here’s a glimpse for today on Huffpo.

  1. I Loved Being A Classroom Teacher. COVID-19 Stole That From Me. In other words, poor me. The problem with this: hey lady, COVID-19 stole something from everyone. Your victimhood is not special. You are not special. STFU.
  2. This Photo Shoot Of The Grinch Scaring Kids Went Viral, But Here’s Why I’m Not Laughing. Oh, poor you! You’re not laughing. You didn’t find something funny. Please accept this apology from the Grinch. …


Hasn’t thought it all the way through.

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Photo by Sebastian Coman Travel on Unsplash

What is he supposed to do when, by some miracle, he catches up to a car? Bite?

That’s what happened last week, folks.

The dog has been the right-wing propaganda machine, chasing this car called the Stolen Election.

This dog has chased it all through Pennsylvania. It chased it to the Four Seasons Total Landscaping Center in Philadelphia, but it didn’t catch it. Instead, it almost ended up in the crematorium next door. But not quite.

This dog, whipped on and encouraged by the great guys at Fox, old Sean Hannity et al., chased the car called the Stolen Election all the way to Michigan, and it brought its guns. The only thing the dog caught up to there, though, was a rally outside Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson’s home to protest against Donald Trump’s election loss. Afterwards, their pathetic armed protest at someone’s private home was universally decried. “Anyone can air legitimate grievances through civil and democratic means, but terrorizing children and families at their own homes is not activism,” said Michigan’s attorney general. …


Station playing entirely 70s novelty and story songs

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Image from NASA

NASA’s Juno discovery mission to Jupiter has made a fascinating find. Juno has discovered an FM signal emanating from one of the gas giant’s moons, Ganymede. And it turns out, it shows a real light-hearted side to these once feared extra-terrestrials living in the vicinity of Jupiter.

“The aliens on Ganymede may look scary,” said Patrick Wagonwheel, one of the lead NASA researchers. “But they have a great sense of humor. Yes, their bodies have a reptilian shape and their eyes are creepy big and wide. But in their hearts, they love a good chuckle.”

The spacecraft, which blasted off in 2011, was traveling at more than a hundred thousand miles an hour when it crossed the radio source, known as a “decametric radio emission.” It heard the radio emission for only five hours, but it was enough time to confirm that the Ganymede radio station played entirely comic and novelty songs. …

About

Simon Black

This is not the Simon Black that you know. This is a different Simon Black. He does not work in your organization or live in your city.

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