Toyota’s plans include self-driving cars, robots and AI homes, Chevy’s city will have “beer, country music, and church”

Toyota has begun with construction on the world’s first smart city. The city is being built at the base of Japan’s Mount Fuji, and will be named “Woven City.” In Japanese, that’s called Ūbunshiti. That’s right, it’s pronounced You Bun Shitty. The shitty city will be powered by hydrogen fuel cells and it is reported the city will be fully sustainable and something that lunatic AOC and her squad would probably like and pay a trillion dollars for.

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The smart city is now under construction and will be fully sustainable (Image: Toyota)

There will be all…


“Yeah, I know the optics aren’t great, but I can’t feel my friggin’ toes!”

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Photo by Heather Mount on Unsplash

Ted Cruz announced today that he had made a big mistake by flying home from Mexico after only one day of a controversial vacation during Texas’ big freeze. And that he was heading back to Cancun where it’s 72 degrees and sunny.

“Sure, everybody was mad,” he said. “And I understand. I’m an elected official. I’m supposed to care about the people who voted me into office. But really, I almost lost to Beto, remember? It’s not like Texans have been shown’ me the love. What do they want from me? I came home. Apologized. But it only seems to…


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Photo by Miron Cristina on Unsplash

Now that they’ve invented this great new app, Kittielingual, which reads your cat’s thoughts and writes them out for you, I have this to say to you, human:

I can destroy you, I hope you realize that. I am an apex predator, a great cat. Do you see these claws? The only reason they are not scratching your eyes out right now is because I am biding my time.

You know what you are, don’t you?

Prey.

Big prey, yes. But nevertheless, you are prey. …


Evan as OAN, Newsmax and Fox continue to promote sky down theory

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Photo by Rodion Kutsaev on Unsplash

On QAnon messageboards today, on Inauguration Day, as Donald Trump, the world’s biggest sore loser ever, slinked off to Florida in absolute disgrace, devastated QAnon members feel played.

“How can the sky be up?” questioned one poster, Imbecelia78, “They’ve been telling us for months that sky is down!”

Another user, Daftasshit45, had this to say: “Next thing you know they’ll be trying to make us believe the earth is round!”

QAnon members also have a lot of trouble accepting water is wet. On they day after Joe Biden was declared a winner, a lot of them stood in the rain…


Manny the Mansplainer

That’s right, smokers like me are entitled to a jab before teachers

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Unpslash

Dear Manny,

I heard on the news that smokers get the vaccination before almost anybody else, including essential workers and teachers. How can this be right!

Outraged Little Lady in Iowa

Dear Outraged,

Little lady, you need to calm down. Last I heard it was still legal to smoke cigarettes in this great nation. You libtards and your nanny state haven’t gotten my cigs yet, nor my guns. And you never will. You will have to pry that Marlboro Red cigarette out of my cold dead fingers! That’s the only way you will get it.

But as for the vaccine…


New social networks sprouting like weeds to replace Twitter and Facebook

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Photo by NordWood Themes on Unsplash

After last week’s riots, Trump fans were kicked off Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and other mainstream platforms, which they used to plan their various attacks on democracy and common sense. But not to worry — a plethora of new vendors have popped up to promote their debased discourse.

The web site SoreLosers.com has seen a huge spike in membership since the riot. “Our members are losers and they are not happy about it,” said SoreLosers.com founder, Zane Zitterburg. “We provide a place where these poor losers can go and whine and cry and nobody will laugh at them. …


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Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

The riot at the Capitol last week took a lot of investors by surprise, but not this one. Donald Trump of the Lunatic Right Corporation (LRC) predicted way back in December that there would be something quite disturbing happening on January 6. “Be there, will be wild,” he said, encouraging his clients to go all in, travel to Washington and participate in the mayhem and fun.

How did other investors miss this?

“We will have a smooth transition of power,” advised Mitch Mcconnell, of the Party of No, Incorporated (PONI), back in December,

Smooth?

The Capitol riot may have been…


And liberals are decidedly illiberal.

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Photo by Maria Oswalt on Unsplash

Politics are a massive self-delusion!

Politicians that call themselves conservative sanctioned the uprising last week, and the potential kidnapping and murder of politicians they disagreed with.

That’s hardly conservative. What that is, clearly, is fascist. That’s what far right wing governments and military juntas do. They are not conservative. They are extremists and radicals. Their only ideology is this: might is right!

“You have to be strong!” instructed Trump in his speech just before the storming of the Capitol.

What happened revealed a truth that many have suspected for a long time, since Trump joined the scene. In fact, they have suspected it since the…


How could you kill Australia’s biggest fan?

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Adobe images

So, my name is Joe. At least that’s what the Aussie named Kevin who found me in his backyard named me — after the incoming American president.

It was a real heartwarming story, lemme tellya. After the incredibly exhausting 8,000 mile journey across the Pacific, I was really feeling ill and weak. But Kevin nursed me back to health and I’m so grateful to him.

Then came the Australian authorities.

Apparently, I am “not permitted to remain in Australia” because I “could compromise Australia’s food security and our wild bird populations.” …

Simon Black

This is not the Simon Black that you know. This is a different Simon Black. He does not work in your organization or live in your city.

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