I exercised two times in six months

Here’s what I learned

Photo by Waranya Mooldee on Unsplash

We have been lied to, that’s what I learned. I have never felt better, folks, and I have basically been sitting here watching TV on the couch for half a year.

Yeah, I did go outside a couple times to do my business.

But I have really been relaxing.

Chillaxing, baby.

And man, my legs feel so good. No more aches and pains. My back doesn’t ache. My knees — oh my god my knees — no more throbbing pain. I can’t believe it.

And it’s all because I went against the accepted wisdom — that exercise is good for you.

It isn’t — I’m living proof. Exercise is hard and it sucks and sitting on the couch watching TV is awesome. Eating cheese popcorn.

Before I used to do HIIT classes, and work out on the elliptical. I did jogging and swimming and circuit training. Weight lifting. I wore myself out, folks.

I was an idiot.

I have seen the light — and it is in resting, as much possible. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

You know what the best exercise is? Letting your eyelids droop. Come on, do it with me. One, two, three, four. That’s it, let em fall. Falling down over your eyes and…poof.

You’re asleep again! You did it!