Second Photo of Black Hole Released

For two years, scientists from a global network of telescopes have been attempting to capture the image of a black hole. Today they released the results.

“We thought we had seen the unseeable,” Shep Doeleman, the director of the EHT, said during a news conference Wednesday. “But then, unfortunately, from the second photo we saw we were mistaken. It turns out one of the cleaning staff had left his glazed donut in front of the telescope last night, so that’s what this image is. Oh well, back to the drawing board.”

As this went to press, Mr. Doleman wistfully picked up the donut, took a bite, and looked up into outer space longingly.